Another year, another day

As my birthday approaches, I have been feeling some kind of way bcuz I really don't like acknowledging the day I came into this world.

Of course when I was still a kid in Delos my father never celebrated my birthday; I only knew it was the day I'd been born. I didn't know it was to be celebrated. My dad didn't; neither did my uncle. It was only after Mother Dear took me in that I saw what birthday celebrations were meant to be.

I recall those birthday parties she'd throw me. Of course her sons, whom I felt were my brothers had a problem with her doing so much for me, the "white boy" who stood out like a swollen thumb. They couldn't even party with me. My sisters were always down to show me love but the comradry I sought from my brothers was never there.

I appreciated Mother Dear for taking time out to honor my birthdays as she had for her own kids. She'd noticed the ways her sons treated me & starting inviting more of my friends over. Of course that would be even more of a problem with them. It got to the point where they would go out of their way to make sure my birthday would get fucked up in some way. I began to beg Mother Dear not to make a fuss but she wouldn't hear it & still bake me a cake, cook me a feast, & invited people over every year, much to her sons' chagrins.

The time came when she actually heard my plight & stopped with inviting people over. We'd still have the cake & all of the good eats but by then it would mainly be me, her, one of her ole men, my sisters, & my best homeboy. Of course people were always popping in at Mother Dear's; it was my fifteenth birthday & one person in particular showed up....Ms. Shirley.

Ms. Shirley & I had been having sex for almost a year by then; we were still in that hide & fuck phase. It was fun to her, to show up at Mother Dear's with a coy smile forever on her face. Ms. Shirley was always dressed to impress, showcasing them big ole hips & ass of hers, showing out that cleavage. No one ever seemed to mind the way Ms. Shirley would be dressing when she came around; Mother Dear had known her from younger days & said that she'd always known Shirley to be like that. She was a good time gal, she said.

Mother Dear & the rest of us were sitting in the living room listening to music when she showed up with a Sock It To Me cake, so I could sock it to her. No one knew what we'd been doing so when Ms. Shirley told me Happy Birthday & hugged me a little too long it went unnoticed. Her & Mother Dear were very much still friends, & the good times rolled after the Crown Royal got set on the table & the music selections changed.

Sitting across from my mother & my lover made me hella uncomfortable. I'd like to die when they started carrying on & Ms. Shirley announced she'd been getting "some good tool"...this was met by Mother Dear's cackle of laughter; I always loved to hear her laugh but this time, what she was laughing at was me.

I couldn't stand to look at Ms. Shirley at that moment; I was embarrassed & I was fucking scared that the cat was coming out of the bag. Mind u, I had to live with this constant guilt at such a young age...I ruined myself...I didn't know how to feel in those days.

I knew Ms. Shirley was purposely trying to embarrass me bcuz she continued on, talking about all of the nasty things this man of hers would do, all while checking for my reaction on the low. That made me feel like shit real talk.

Mother Dear had a bit too much to drink & was getting tipsy, so she asked me to go cut her a piece of the birthday cake to bring her down. When I went into the kitchen to cut the cake, Ms. Shirley slithered on in behind me, standing close, licking on my neck & ear whilst grabbing a handful of my dick. She always did shit like that; didn't she understand just what she was doing to me, what she was turning me into? The shit felt good to me, way too fucking good. A fifteen year old shouldn't have known that kind of pleasure.

As soon as Ms. Shirley let me pass with the cake she started pawing at my butt...she was lit tho. I hurriedly gave Mother Dear her cake & tried to creep out of the room to go smoke bcuz Ms. Shirley made my nerves bad & my dick was hard as stone & I was hella uncomfortable; I was horny as fuck.

My homeboy didn't know I was smashing Ms. Shirley; I'd kept it a secret from everyone bcuz I was ashamed at myself. My homeboy asked me why I'd be feeling the ways I did but I never once told him it was bcuz I was fucking my mama's best friend. I told him other truths; that I felt like I wasn't worthy of a good lady like Mother Dear, plus of all the bullshit I was getting from my brothers. I told him I felt so out of place bcuz none of these shorties really were that interested in me at the time, or at least that's what I thought. I told him truths, just not that truth.

When the homey got a hit from his girl he told me he had to bounce. I thanked him for coming, & for the fire sack he gifted me with. After he'd left, I rolled me a nice spliff & was hitting that when Ms. Shirley found me. She had that look: I knew what she wanted from me & exactly how & where she wanted it, only this time I would do something for me; shit...it was my birthday after all, right?

Ms. Shirley was on me like white on rice, pulling my shit the way she used to; said it was to make me longer...the way that woman would kiss all over my face & suck on my neck...she'd be turning me on when she'd do that...next thing, I'd be using my tongue on her, sucking her out or flicking her clit & pearl tongue the way I'd been instructed to do, or the mandatory eating of her ass before she'd finally allow me to fuck her as hard as she could take...It was my job to know when I was hurting her mind u, like I could even tell, what with the ways she'd fuck me. I had to give it to her the way she wanted or else I'd get punished.

I guess it was just my luck that on this day in particular I penetrated her a little harder & deeper than normal, my gift to myself. I'd wanted to fuck her the way I wanted to for a change. My liberty only earned me a hard slap across my face & a hair pull. After I pulled my dick out of her, Ms. Shirley felt bad but then tried to run some head game shit on me, talking bout how I should listen. I didn't feel like fucking with her anymore but she made sure she got it out of me. After we were done she slipped a wad of bills in my hand, forever making me feel the whore...so say it was my birthday present.

It was me following her instructions & fucking her the way she wanted me to & paying me bcuz I listened.

I may not know anyone out there who may read this, but I'm sure the day of your birth is supposed to make you feel some type of way, be it yea or nay...but for me, it's just another day I'm here, another day I survived.