(Cum)ing out of my shell

What makes us "us"...do we even know? Can we even understand?

I am a lover above all things...a man of passion. I've never been afraid of expressing my love. As of late, I've been wondering if my love is too much. I've had the woman I loved most of my life tell me that my affections were too extreme once upon a time. I've had women I slept with tell me that the experience was something they'd never forget.

I often wonder about what makes me do the things I do...the things I've done. I've always been a sensual person; I always try to bring out a woman's sensuality. I try to do the things they love, want, dream of. I make sure that woman knows just how lucky I am to be in her presence.

As a child growing up in a new land, I always found myself under my Mother Dear, trying to learn this new life she gave me. I tried to be as helpful as I could be, always doing the dishes or sweeping, offering to run errands. I wanted to please my new mother; memories of my birth mother were so vague but I know in my heart of hearts I would have done the same things to help her. Mother Dear would always tell me how proud of me she was. That would make me so happy, to see that lovely smile on that lovely face. I wanted to please her always.

I guess that's why I went along with my relationship with the older woman I lost my virginity to. I wanted to please her, each & every time we had sex. My mind was on pleasing her. She saw this trait in me early on & ran with the shit; she saw she had a willing fool. I was taught...trained...to do every single sexual act she loved & then some. She schooled me on how to keep her pussy wet & feeling good.

Now as an adult, these lessons have never left my mind; I fully embrace my sexuality & I enjoy making women squirm the way I do. Although single now, I don't plan anymore. I waited for the woman I love to choose me for so long that it's damaged me.

Sure, I still want to get married & have nine more kids but it's wishful thinking...I couldn't be the man I wanted to be; now I shall just take life day by day & keep driving women crazy along the way😏